Slow living is a lifestyle that emphasizes taking a slower, more mindful approach to all aspects of daily life; one that savors moments, finds joy in simple things & prioritizes our complete wellbeing.

Go Slow

Reflections, tips & inspirations for slowing down the pace of life.

I didn't Want to Be a Lifer in The System

Every year Will and I take an extended trip to warmer climates to escape the Montreal winter. You might call us snowbirds, but often these are retirees. We don’t work much, but we are far from being retired. People wonder how we’ve been able to sustain this way of life for more than a decade. Some think we are secretly rich, but we don’t have what most would consider wealth. No car, no home, no inheritance. With our modest bank accounts, we possess wealth of a different kind. We have the luxury of living on our own time. For us, that’s freedom money can’t buy. My secret is to do away with life’s excess so we can focus on what’s really important. Time is our most precious possession.

My transition to what we call slow living began in 2012 when I resigned from my short-lived career as a high school teacher in Brooklyn, NY. Some colleagues were dismayed that I would throw away a tenured position with top notch health benefits and a comfortable retirement. Others wished they could be as brave. For me, it was simple. I didn’t want to swap my life for job security and a pension. I didn’t want to be a lifer in the system.

Despite my resignation, those years in NYC were the highlight of my ten year career. Most memorable were my students, especially the troublesome ones that sent me home crying, made me want to quit in the early years. They prepared me for heading into the unknown, like the song New York, New York: If I can make it here, I’ll make it anywhere. It’s up to you, New York, New YorkI had no other job lined up, just some savings, and an exhilarating sense of adventure.

My exit from the system also terminated my work visa, which meant no further right to legal employment in the US. I found work off the books doing various things that peaked my interest, when not traveling extensively. Eventually I married a former colleague I was dating at the school. He struggled to pay child support, back taxes and even his share of the rent. We had a two bedroom, rent controlled apartment in a trendy Brooklyn neighborhood that was on the tourist scene. So I listed our spare room on Airbnb and it supplemented our income enough to travel together on several occasions.

The life I describe isn’t for everyone. The absence of a steady income is certainly cause for anxiety but I am savvy with my limited finances – and have few wants and needs. I favor a lifestyle that focuses less on working and more on living, less need for money and more time for simple pleasures. Unfortunately, my husband was still bound by the conventional 9 – 5 grind and in time our lives began to diverge. After our divorce I continued to curate my slow rhythm of life.  In 2017 on a winter getaway, I met Will…and here we are today living LA VIE EN SLOW.

Death Of A Salesman

Comme la grande majorité des gens, j’ai consacré beaucoup de temps et d’énergie au travail. Je le voyais comme une extension de moi-même et j’étais fier de ma position et de mon statut notamment à l’époque où j’occupais le poste de commercial pour la société G Star. Pendant six ans, j’ai vécu à cent à l’heure, accumulant les heures supplémentaires, enchaînant les soirées, les repas avec les clients, les meetings à Paris, Anvers, Amsterdam dans les endroits les plus branchés du moment. J’étais l’employé d’une marque connue et demandée et je me suis identifié à cette image.

Mon ego était au top de sa forme et je ne manquais aucune occasion de le flatter. Mes amis et ma compagne de l’époque avaient remarqué le changement dans ma personnalité mais j’ai été berné et endormi par l’Audi de fonction, les voyages en première classe, les beaux hôtels, les restaurants étoilés enfin par les paillettes d’un monde édulcoré. 

J’étais jeune, ignorant, arrogant et motivé par le succès et la reconnaissance. La chute a été difficile quand je me suis aperçu que je ne n’étais qu’un pion sur l’échiquier, un citron dont on presse le jus puis que l’on jette. Éreinté par cette vie de fou et la pression exercée par mes supérieurs pour vendre encore plus, j’ai décidé de quitter l’entreprise. Seulement, la hiérarchie n’a pas accepté ma demande et malgré toutes les années et le temps investi, mon départ fût très chaotique et traumatisant m’obligeant à faire appel à un avocat pour obtenir gain de cause. Je suis parti sans pots de départ, ni célébration, ni remerciement et bien que impacté par cette fin inattendue, le rêve d’une vie se profilait devant moi. Je partais pour un voyage d’un an qui commençait en Octobre 2010.  

J’avais opté pour un tour des continents en démarrant par l’Asie, puis l’Océanie et finissant en Amérique du Sud. Plus de compte à rendre, de rapports à donner, d’horaires ni emploi du temps à respecter. J’étais libre avec les joies et les craintes que cela engendre. Le premier choc eut lieu au contact de la terre de mes ancêtres paternels. L’Inde grouillante de monde, d’odeurs et de bruits m’a autant déstabilisé que captivé mêlant choc de culture et sensation familière. Au fil des rencontres, de la beauté des paysages et de la magie du voyage, mon rythme de vie s’est naturellement ralenti pour observer, apprécier et contempler ce qui s’offrait à moi. Cette année d’aventure à été l’élément déclencheur et l’esquisse de mon futur. Je me rappelle du regard étonné de ma famille et de mes amis à mon retour. J’atterrissais avec une barbe qui masquait mon visage et des longs cheveux qui couvraient mes épaules mais la vraie transformation ne pouvait se voir. Elle était intérieure et je me rappelle m’être posé cette question. Qui suis-je devenu? 

De retour à Marseille sans travail, j’ai jonglé avec les petits jobs tantôt de la figuration, puis de la mise en rayon ou comme guide à vélo. Je gagnais peu mais je vivais à mon rythme me laissant du temps pour lire et m’immerger dans le yoga et la méditation. Ces années à ralentir m’ont aidées à faire le deuil de seize années de vie en couple. La rupture a été douloureuse et pour éviter d’être envahi par la solitude qui a suivi, j’ai décidé d’en faire une allié, une amie. Elle m’a suivi lors de mon déménagement en Andalousie où j’ai fait la rencontre de Thuy avec qui nous partageons depuis huit ans un mode de vie plutôt atypique tourné vers l’appréciation du temps en prônant le ralentissement. D’ailleurs, chaque année nous quittons le froid de Montréal pour une destination ensoleillée où nous passons les mois d’hiver. Nous n’avons pas gagné au loto et sommes loin d’êtres retraités mais notre expérience pourrait vous servir de guide et vous donner l’envie d’adopter ce que nous appelons La Vie En Slow.

 

Our Guide To Slow Living

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6 Simples Ways to Live Slow Today

Mental Health / Self-Care

We all know balanced eating, exercise and plenty of rest is good for the body. Daily pauses, like meditation or journaling are great ways to tend to your mind. Talking about your experiences can provide relief as well.  Seek  support from friends, family and community.

Buy Less / Choose Better

Prioritize quality over quantity. Choose timeless, classic styles and durable materials that will stand the test of time and won’t go out of fashion in all things you buy. This will lead to less waste and more worth to your dollars.

De-Clutter / Organize

Start with the smallest room in your home. Pick up an item. Make a decision: trash, give away or keep. Don’t put it back in the pile. Do this with the entire room. Take before and after photos to motivate yourself to organize regularly.

Spend Your Time Wisely

Choose meaningful experiences that will truly bring joy to your day instead of cramming your schedule with tons of activities. Establish routines or small traditions that you can look forward to, such as a weekly family dinner or a monthly outing with friends. 

Embrace Mindfulness

Resist the urge to multitask non-stop. Focus on one task at a time, whether it’s working, reading, or even washing dishes. You’ll find that you complete tasks more efficiently and with greater satisfaction.  Make a goal to eat without distractions such as eliminating TV or smartphones.

Slow & Mindful Travel

Plan your trips with a focus on quality experiences rather than quantity. Immerse yourself in the local culture and truly experience a place, rather than rushing through a checklist of tourist spots. Visit local markets and coffee shops. Stay in locally-owned accommodations over big hotel chains. 

(Flowers from our travels)

From Social Conditioning To Mindful Living

Being Productive Takes On A New Meaning: A Year In The Life Of Slow Living

Social Conditioning

I thought transitioning from the rat race to a slower pace was going to be natural and easy. That it required effort surprised me, but it made sense.  Many years of social programming needed undoing. It was a light bulb moment. I didn’t realize how deeply I had been indoctrinated into the system. From birth to death we are dependent on it. From hospital room to classroom, from work to retirement, from paying taxes to collecting pensions. This is our citizenry duty. Like most people, I followed this path blindly. I got an education. Got a career. Paid off school loans. Paid my share of taxes and began putting money aside for retirement. I couldn’t fathom any other outlook on life.

Ten years into my career I had an awakening. I felt a growing desire to know life outside the box. I wanted to make room for other parts of me to bloom. I realized the system was squelching my growth. I began questioning things and was reminded of a comment my former husband made when I chastised him for not saving for retirement. Retirement? He chuckled. What’s the point? I don’t know if I’ll live to see tomorrow. I chuckle now at the remark, though when I resigned from my teaching career I was glad to have a little nest egg to get my new life started.

Freedom to live life on my own terms was exhilarating. It was the ultimate satisfaction to wake up with my own circadian rhythm rather than an alarm. Slow mornings sipping coffee without the ringing of the school bell, lazy evenings savoring wine without lessons to plan made every day feel like a weekend. It was luxurious, yet, as incredulous as it sounds, it took some adjustments to get into the new flow. I was so used to busy-ness I had to consciously program my brain to relax. I had to turn off the autopilot that told me to be productive. 

Each morning I felt guilty as my (then) husband left for work – that guilty feeling when you take the day off pretending to be sick, like I was playing hooky. But the reality was, I was deeply conditioned. I needed to have a serious talk with myself. Relax. You won’t be punished. You don’t have to rush anywhere. No one will talk bad about you. Then, I had to silence the voice that said I was a lazy worthless bum without a job or an income. 

It took some time to re-educate and redefine myself. Dutifully being a productive citizen was so ingrained. Now, fourteen years later the mere thought of going back to the daily grind brings a shudder. I’ve given new meaning to productivity. It includes things like making my bed, reading a book, or any mindful act of self-care or caring for others.

Mindful Living

What does slow living look like on a daily to yearly basis? From May to the end of the year I work from home in Montreal. I am self-employed as an intimacy coach and Tantra practitioner. My work schedule depends on my financial goals. I don’t have ambitious objectives, so I work very little. My income probably borders poverty, but I live quite satisfactorily. I have ample time off during these working months to be productive in the afore mentioned ways.

When the Montreal cold becomes unbearable we fly to warmer climates. We are currently in Turkey as I’m writing this. We have been here nearly three months, the maximum time allowed. This year is the first time I’m working while abroad, dedicating a few hours here and there for online coaching. Otherwise, our travel life remains the same as before, which is very similar to our home life.

At home I enjoy watching the sun shine through the kitchen window, lighting up all the plants I care for so tenderly. Will does his morning exercise routine while I laze around. Sometimes I’ll do yoga and meditation but I’m not as regimented. We eat breakfast around noon. It usually takes a couple of hours unless there’s a work appointment, which I usually try to schedule for the early part of the day. 

Currently, in Turkey, we live a five minute walk to the Mediterranean Sea, so it has become our after breakfast spot. We go there most afternoons to swim and soak up the winter sun, sometimes staying for the sunsets. On Fridays we walk to the open air market in town, fill our bags with greens, nuts, dried and fresh fruit, cheese, olives and take the bus back home. 

Summer afternoons in Montreal are often spent by the St. Laurence River. We usually bring a book and pack a picnic and lay on the grass by the river just a half block from home. Evenings, whether home or abroad, are spent making dinner. We dedicate a good amount of our time to cooking and eating. It’s one of our greatest joys in life. I make bread, curries, cakes, congee, crepes, soups, salads, granola. We don’t eat out or do take-out much. It’s a treat when we do.

Since Antoine’s passing I don’t do much else, whether at home or abroad. Before his death I was more engaged with our travels. I would go on hikes, visit ruins, or local eateries. Now there’s little energy and motivation for these things. It’s more fitting to say we live in Turkey rather than traveling. We are friendly with our neighbors. Vendors at the market recognize us. We even get invited to dinner. I’m content to stay quiet and be with myself. My slow pace of life allows ample time for that!

Slow living by the Mediterranean Sea – Kas, Turkey – February 2025

La vie en slow

lavieenslow@gmail.com